First Initial Steps to Win Her Back - Get Your Ex Back Fast


Some says: If you know what women want, you can rule the world.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Dirty Seduction Secret- Create Moments of Distress and Anguish‏

Being just "nice" to a girl may draw her to you since it feelssoothing and comforting to her, but it doesn't make her feel SEXUALfeelings for you. Creating that erotic feeling depends more on just being nice,getting rapport, and making her feel comfortable. Erotic feelingdepends on the creation of TENSION. Without tension, without her feeling a little anxiety and suspense,there can be no feeling of release of true pleasure and joy. And your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away,to selectively withdraw, to delay a woman's satisfaction and makeher come after you. You want the woman to engage her own will inall its force, to become an active participant in the seduction. And the only way to accomplish this is to take a step back and makethem want to possess you, so that they will willingly advance intoyour arms. And here's how to do it.

Consider step one "the bait". Here you need to bait the woman witha promise or reward, whether be the hope of physical pleasure, thesocial proof of being associated with you, or simply mildattraction to you. Most guys get no farther than this- they entertain her peer group,read her palm, touch her, tell her some interesting stories, andgive her good feelings. But creating good feelings is not enough. You need to take it away.

Once, you have her affection, comfort, or slight attraction, yournext task is to create a moment of anguish. The feeling can beintense or subtle, by physically pushing the girl away, turningyour back on her, or falsely disqualifying yourself. You areliterally creating physical or emotional space between yourself andthe girl. Of course, you're not blatantly brushing the girl off or acting toocold, you're just creating a moment of slight doubt. Creating distance is like pumping raw jet fuel into the attractionmachine. Because it's in the ABSENCE where intense attractionhappens. It's when you are alone at night in your bed thinking about thegirl that you drive yourself crazy for her. And it's when you create space between yourself and the girl thatshe is driven crazy for YOU. All intense love and attraction is born out of moments of turmoiland distress. Falling in love is a mix of fear and excitement. Fear andexcitement makes you vibrate with sensation, heightens yourawareness, and is intensely erotic. The combination is a thrill. Before she can experience joy, and bliss, she has to experience itsopposite, loss. It is only in this momentary space where you giveher the feelings of erotic love, turbulent thoughts, longing, hope,and impatient expectancy. After all, an easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one.We are only really excited by what is denied us, by what we cannotpossess. And don't worry- women will be less upset by your "push away" thanyou might imagine. In the world today, women feel starved forexperience. They crave emotion, even if it's negative. The "pain"you cause women by creating space is bracing and makes them feelmore alive. Your withdrawal will trigger her anxiety and the only way for herto relieve this anxiety is to pursue and possess you. Step backnow and you make her fall into your arms.

You create tension however not to hold it forever, but so that youcan release it. By closing the physical and emotional space again, you create mixedsignals that ignite the sexual tension and keep the woman emotionaland on edge. By closing the moment of tension or anguish, byrewarding her by connecting again, you allow for her to experiencea great release of the tension with joy. It's this back-and-forthmovement between hope and frustration that drives woman to haveintense sexual attraction to you. Create enough highs and lows and you will wear away the lastvestiges of a woman's willpower, and she will pursue you withdesperate energy. And again, don't be so "nice" all the time. You are most oftennice not out of your own inner goodness but out of fear ofdispleasing the woman, out of your own insecurity. Go beyond thatfear and you suddenly have options, like the freedom to create painand then magically dissolve it. The technique of inflicting distress and anguish works best onbeautiful women who have it easy. They are used to getting whatthey want right away by needy men, and being pushed away will comeas a real shock to them. Beautiful women in particular will chasewith particularly intense ferocity when pushed away. Sub-consciously, they secretly desire a man who will give themsomething to long for.

The Sure Fire Dating Tips

How to make women laugh

A lot of guys ask me how to be funny. After all, women all the time say they want to meet a guy who “makes them laugh”. The trick to being funny is forget “funny” and just be playful. If you’re playful, a girl will laugh. And the reason girls want to laugh is because they want to feel easy COMFORT around you. And one of the easiest ways to being playful is role play silly little fantasies in your conversations with a girl.
To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here are some playful role playing interactions that I had on the phone with a girl.

Sabrina: "yeah I like to take showers. So can you take me to a little shower fantasy"
Derek: "Sure, but we’d use olive oil instead of water. Olive oil is good for your skin right?"
Sabrina: "I think so-"
Derek: "Yeah, but olive oil won’t come through the pipes so I’d make you sit in the tub and I dump buckets of warm, hot olive oil down your back."
Sabrina: "hmmmm"
Derek: "And slowly the tub would fill up with olive oil... and that warmth would spread all throughout your body... and then we’d jump out and our skin would be all oily and shiny"
Sabrina: "lol"
Derek: "And we’d leave olive oil footprints all over the floor as we ran around butt-naked trying to clean it up."
Sabrina: "lol. Yeah, but why waste all that olive oil when we could make a salad out of it?"
Derek: "Smart thinking, we’d dumped 40 heads of lettuce in there, a few tomatoes, a few onions, and we’d have enough Caesar salad to feed an army."
Sabrina: "lol"
See how I’m just making a rather ridiculous little story for her? And notice how it has a sexual connotation to it. When you wrap a sexual story in playfulness, women are not nearly as likely to resist it.

Derek: "So what’s your house like"
Sabrina: "I’ve got a pool in the back"
Derek: "Awesome! We can throw pool parties back there..."
Sabrina: "pool parties? uh-"
Derek: "Or better yet, I’ll dress up like Zeus and you dress up like Athena and we’ll be like gods and goddesses hanging out at the pool"
Sabrina: "lol yes! I like that"
Derek: "And we’ll fill the pool up with olive oil and get all greasy. And crush grapes with our feet. It will rock."
Sabrina: "lol"
Derek: "Yeah... and we need to get a servant to hold up one of those huge Hossanah leaves and fan us down"
Sabrina: "Yeah... and I’ll blast the air conditioner so it goes out the window into the pool."
Derek: "Damn, you’re good at this aren’t you..."
Notice how I have her laughing. Am I cracking canned jokes? No. Am I racking my brain to be funny? No. The silliness and laughter comes naturally from the playful fantasy.

Sabrina: "Yeah, I felt a spiritual connection on top of the vortex in Sedona."
Derek: "Yeah, the most interesting thing happened to me while I stood on top the vortex.... ....I was standing up there and lo and behold my cell phone rings! Yeah, it was like the angels were phoning me!!"
Sabrina: "lol"
Derek: "Yeah, and what really shocked me was that I get perfect reception on top of a mountain vortex in the middle of nowhere yet I can’t get good reception in my own apartment. What’s up with that??"
Sabrina: "lol... yeah it’s terrible"
Derek: "Anyway, I get the phone and the angels start talking to me..."
Sabrina: "What did they tell you"
Derek: "You won’t believe this, but they gave me the secret of the meaning to life"
Sabrina: "Really? And what is the secret of the meaning to life"
Derek: "That can be yours for the low price of only $499.95!"
Sabrina: "lol that’s all?"
Derek: "Well, if you knew the secret, you wouldn’t think it was worth much more than that either--"
Sabrina: "lol... no, but didn’t you notice how commercial it is in Sedona?"
Derek: "Yeah... it’s like you can walk down from the vortex having had this incredible spiritual experience and walk right into McDonalds and... SUPER SIZE YOUR FRIES!!!"
Sabrina: "hahahahaha"
So be PLAYFUL and you’ll be funny. Be PLAYFUL and she’ll laugh. Be PLAYFUL and she’ll relax. Get the idea?
Check out my 3rd Edition Seduction Science System for even more great examples of how to keep women laughing and entertained and attracted.

More powerful tips on seducing girls

Until next time,
Derek Vitalio

Handling Girls with Boyfriends‏

A lot of guys ask me, "What do I say if she tells me she has aboyfriend?" The fact is, most beautiful women have a boyfriend most of thetime. If men are like spiders trying to catch as many women intotheir web as they can, women are like swinging tree-monkeys,swinging from boyfriend to boyfriend but never letting go of thefirst without having a second lined up to grab onto. So you can'tjust ignore women with boyfriends or you'll severely limit youroptions. Most of the time if a girl says she has a boyfriend, I just ignoreit and keep gaming her like I would normally. Usually, the chickwill come around. By the way, the worst thing you can do is let itstop you dead in your tracks - the girl is testing you to see ifyou're a wuss. One technique I also like to use is a "boyfriend destroyer". Aboyfriend destroyer is especially effective if her boyfriend is notmeeting her core values and she's looking to leave him anyway andjust needs an extra nudge out. For instance, last month I met a cute black-haired beauty by thepool and she was telling me how she had just broken up with herboyfriend and how he was such a jerk. She went on about him for tenminutes straight. She was getting more and more worked up it.Besides getting bored, I didn't want any of this negativityattached to me. So I told her, "Just imagine your ex-boyfriend three inches tall,like this, standing right on the table in front of you. Now I wantyou to take your hand and smash him and crumple him up in yourhands-" She immediately squashed her invisible ex against the table andcrumpled him up before I could finish! Then I told her, "And THROW him into the pool where he willdisappear! Splash! Gone!" She threw him in and after that never said one more word about him- only that I was so "intelligent" and "sweet" and "incredible"and... well you get the idea. But some women LIKE their boyfriends and there's little you can doto neutralize or destroy him in her mind. In that case you have totake a completely different approach. (The following conversationis simplified for clarity) One girl I met at a party casually mentioned her boyfriend inconversation. I said to her, "You know, I'm really curious aboutsomething... about your boyfriend, what about him first attractedyou?" She started telling me what it was about her boyfriend that firstattracted her. She said, "Well I wasn't attracted to him AT FIRST,but it was just the way he... and the way he... and..." This isimportant, because she's giving you step-by-step instructions onEXACTLY how to seduce her! I then asked her, "When you first fell in love with this personwhat exactly did you feel?" No matter what she says, she'll lightly go into that state of firstfalling in love as she accesses it in her mind - with YOU causingthe good feeling in her. I asked her, "Where did that feeling start?" She told me in her chest (they'll usually say in their throat orstomach). Then I asked her, "From your chest, where did it go it next?" She told me it went down to her tummy. I said, "Now let me get this straight... I was actually talking toa friend of mine last week and with her when she feels she'sattracted to a person she said it starts in her throat, but for youit starts here in your chest..." I touched her chest. "And then down to your tummy right," I saidtracing my finger down to her naval. I've now just elicited HER particular process of becoming attractedand then LED her through it by tracing the path of that feelingwith my finger (and anchored that incredible feeling to my fingeras I touched her). In effect, I created the experience of "becomingattracted" for her as I traced the feeling with my finger along herskin - all with the excuse of, "Now let me see if I got what yousaid straight." I finished up with, "It's kind of weird that way... how you justbecome attracted to someone like that... as if it just explodesinside of you when it hits your tummy... but things like that canjust happen and in my opinion you should never try to fightsomething like that." As a final note, you MUST have some level of rapport when you pulla move like this. The more rapport you have with her, the bettershe'll respond and more powerful the effect will be. For even more great tips and techniques, check out my SeductionScience System, the 3rd Edition- now in instant downloadable MP3format- Everything you need to succeed with women, from finding them,approaching them, talking with them, and seducing them is all rightthere in my one program.

Derek Vitalio